How to Choose a Guitar: Show Me Your Guitar, and I’ll Tell You Who You Are!
Your Choice of Guitar Says More About You Than You Might Think
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How to Choose a Guitar: Show Me Your Guitar, and I'll Tell You Who You Are! · Source: Roberto Finizio / Alamy Stock Foto
It’s the interpersonal moments that inspire ideas for columns like this one, which covers the highly personal topic “How to Choose a Guitar”. I recently underwent a minor medical procedure under local anesthesia and “twilight sleep” with the help of Dormicum. While I was dozing off, I struck up a conversation with my doctor, who is also a guitarist. Of course, the conversation quickly turned to gear. Foggy as I was, I immediately and unsolicitedly advised him that he surely had at least two PRS guitars. Wide eyes. “How did you come up with that???” – of course, I was right.
All About How to Choose a Guitar
Let’s be honest: How to choose a guitar – or, our choice of guitar reveals more about us than we generally care to admit. Of course, we’re all concerned with sound, handling, and budget. But deep down, every guitar choice has a reason; every instrument has a character. That character comes through. It either reflects us or comes through.
This article is a typology of guitarists and their guitars. It’s not necessarily scientifically sound, but it’s guaranteed to be based on real-life experiences. By the way, the doctor in question didn’t take my comment badly. For one thing, the procedure was a complete success (thanks again), and for another, he told me the story. I still have no memory of the incident – Dormicum…
Oh, yes, of course, the following article is meant to be taken seriously. Anyone who feels offended is encouraged to leave comments under each of my articles.
1. How to Choose a Guitar: Les Paul Players
- Typical guitar model: Gibson Les Paul Standard, Epiphone 1959 Reissue, and Tokai Love Rock (from Japan, of course!)
- Favorite colors: Tobacco Sunburst, black, and gold top
- Sound: Fat, warm, and rich in sustain
Les Paul players aren’t daredevils – they’re strategists. They know what they want: assertive lead sounds, creamy solos, and a look that makes an impression on any stage, in any genre. Anyone who plays a Les Paul has made a decision in favor of tone over weight and tradition over fashion.
Psychogram
These guitarists often have a serious (some might say pedantic) approach to their playing. They pay close attention to details when choosing a guitar, such as the right pot tapers, the best solder, and the perfect combination of guitar, cable, and amp. Guitar maintenance is a must and guitar technique is a religion. Practice? Not necessarily.
Typical Behavior
- Adjusts the volume knob precisely to 8.7 before every song
- Regularly discusses the differences between ’50s and ’60s wiring online
- Has said the word “mojo” at least once – and meant it
Sound Inspirations
Slash, Jimmy Page, and Joe Bonamassa
2. How to Choose a Guitar: Strat Player
- Typical model: Fender Stratocaster, Squier Classic Vibe Stratocaster, and self-assembled parts caster
- Favorite colors: Olympic White, Sonic Blue, and Sunburst
- Sound: Crystal clear, sparkling, and flexible
Some players claim that the Stratocaster is the Swiss Army knife of guitars. That’s exactly what attracts fans when choosing a guitar. Stratocaster players want to be able to play anything: funky cleans, bluesy crunches, and warm leads. They’re also willing to spend a long time perfecting their sound.
Psychogram
Perfectionists with a penchant for self-improvement. The tone is never quite right, and the setup is never perfect. They are the tinkerers among guitarists and often think the most about their equipment and how to choose a guitar.
Typical Behavior
- Regularly plays with the volume knob, even in the middle of a solo
- Has changed more pickguards than songs written
- Secretly dreams of a rig with two amps (wet/dry/wet), but mostly plays through a small combo or completely unamplified on the sofa
Sound Icons
Eric Clapton, John Frusciante, and David Gilmour
3. How to Choose a Guitar: The Telecaster Gang
- Typical models: Fender Telecaster, Squier Classic Vibe Telecaster, and G&L ASAT
- Favorite colors: Butterscotch Blonde, Natural, and Custom Black with binding
- Sound: Crisp, direct, and uncompromising
The Telecaster is the workhorse of electric guitars. It has two pickups, a piece of ash or alder, and a sheet metal angle bracket. Tele players are eager to move on to the next topic and are straightforward when it comes to “How to choose a guitar.” They want authenticity and assertiveness, as well as a sound that doesn’t try to please everyone.
Psychogram
Tele players are often purists with clear opinions. They know that when you focus on the essentials, you don’t need anything else. They have both feet firmly on the ground — in cowboy boots or Converse, depending on the genre.
Typical Behavior
- Voluntarily dispenses with the tone pot (“I don’t need it”)
- Plays blues, country, indie, and punk — all on the same guitar
- Has at least one boutique pedal that supposedly “changes everything”
Sound Icons
Bruce Springsteen, Keith Richards, and Jim Root
4. How to Choose a Guitar: The Metal Axe Players
- Typical model: Everything from ESP LTD, Jackson Soloist, Ibanez RG, or Solar Guitars
- Favorite colors: Black, satin red, and anything with spikes
- Sound: High gain, tight bottom end, and plenty of pinch harmonics
Metal guitarists can often be recognized by their cases: angular, heavy, and covered in warning stickers. Their guitars are tools chosen for precision, speed, and assertiveness in the mix. Sustain is essential, and mid-scoop is more a matter of form than taste.
Psychogram
Tech-loving, meticulous, and disciplined. They practice with a metronome, measure their wrist angles, and know exactly how many decibels their Tube Screamer pushes at 1 kHz. Spontaneous jams? Yes, but only in drop C and with a click track.
Typical Behavior
- Plays 16th notes at 220 BPM but has no idea what Cmaj7 is
- Likes to get their hair caught in the strings but is still faster than everyone else
- Has 37 presets but only uses two
Sound Role Models
Ola Englund, Jeff Hanneman, and James Hetfield
5. How to Choose a Guitar: Jazz Box Connoisseurs
- Typical models: Gibson ES, Ibanez Artcore, D’Angelico, and Eastman
- Favorite colors: Natural, vintage sunburst, and wine red
- Sound: Warm, round, and velvety – never distorted
Jazz guitarists are the intellectuals of the scene. Their guitars sound like filter coffee in porcelain cups: refined, restrained, and substantial. They prefer hollow bodies or semi-hollows with flatwound strings and XL Jazz III picks – a clear case in the question: “How to choose a guitar”.
Psychogram
Intellectual, disciplined, and rather quiet. Improvisation is a philosophy of life; music theory is breakfast reading. When asked if you like “free jazz,” you respond, “It depends on which part is free.”
Typical Behavior
- Plays 32nd note arpeggios over substitutions while sitting
- Never turns the tone pot above five
- Hardly hears himself – but neither does the rest of the band
Sound Role Models
Wes Montgomery, Pat Metheny, and Julian Lage
6. How to Choose a Guitar: The Headless Crew
- Typical models: Strandberg, Kiesel, Steinberger, and Legator
- Favorite colors: Spaceburst, natural carbon, and anything but vintage
- Sound: Modern, clear, and precise – sometimes even clinical
Headless guitars are the epitome of musical progress. They weigh next to nothing, are perfectly balanced, and resemble something from a sci-fi movie. Anyone who plays one of these instruments wants to stand out – but in a functional way.
Psychogram
These guitarists are nerdy pragmatists. They read manuals, compare pickup frequency diagrams, and know what a “multi-scale compensated nut” is. They are often on first-name terms with their DAW (and everyone else’s), but at heart, they are always guitarists.
Typical Behavior
- Tells you how light their guitar is during soundcheck (spoiler: only 2.24 kg)
- Likes to play barefoot for better pedal feel
- Always has a USB stick with IRs on their keychain
Sound Icons
Plini, Tim Henson, and Tosin Abasi
7. How to Choose a Guitar: The Offset Guitar Community
- Typical model: Fender Jazzmaster, Jaguar, and Mustang, Squier J Mascis
- Favorite colors: Sonic Blue, Shell Pink, and Burgundy Mist
- Sound: shrill, spacey, and atmospheric
Offset guitars aren’t just instruments – they’re statements. They have unconventional shapes, special circuits, rhythm circuits, and a penchant for individuality. People who play offset guitars don’t want to sound like everyone else. Or, at least, they want to pretend they don’t.
Psychogram
Artistic, unconventional, a little retro, and very style-conscious when choosing a guitar. The sound comes from a combination of reverb, delay, and personality. Feedback is not a glitch but part of the arrangement.
Typical Behavior
- Plays with more reverb than an amplifier
- Has a pedalboard bigger than the rehearsal room
- Talks about “texture” instead of “tone”
Sound Influences
Thurston Moore, Kevin Shields, and Nels Cline
8. How to Choose a Guitar: Acoustic Purists
- Typical model: Martin D-28, Taylor 314, Yamaha FG, and Lakewood
- Favorite colors: Natural
- Sound: Honest, woody, and unamplified
These guitarists don’t need a pedalboard, an amp, or batteries. They play what they’ve got, mostly open chords and fingerpicking with a little strumming thrown in. It’s about the music, not the technology. That’s it.
Psychogram
Down-to-earth and calm, but sometimes a little preachy. They love wood, handmade music, and singer-songwriter festivals. They always have a guitar with them – and if not, they miss it. They wear wool sweaters.
Typical Behavior
- Plays at children’s birthday parties
- Always knows how to light a campfire
- Doesn’t own a tuner – but still plays better than you
Musical Influences
James Taylor, John Butler, Damien Rice
Conclusion: Everyone Plays the Way They Are, and That’s a Good Thing
Our choice of guitar may not say everything about us, but it often reveals more than we think. Whether you’re a vintage enthusiast with a Paula, a high-gain hero with a metal axe, or a jazz aficionado with a hollow body, what matters most is that you play.
The beauty of guitars lies in their diversity. No type is better and no style is superior. We all carry a piece of our personality in our guitar cases, and that’s pretty cool.
Now it’s your turn: What guitar do you play, and what does it say about you? What’s your take on “How to Choose a Guitar”?
The original article “How to Choose a Guitar” was written by Jan Rotring for GEARNEWS.de.
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