A developer & Twitter edgelord going by the name of Colon presented his greatest work. “Don’t You Lecture Me With Your Thirty Dollar Website” is a music sequencer of the kind that could only possibly exist on the internet. You get to compose music of dubious quality by lining up emoji. Each emoji represents a specific sound or speech/noise sample that goes with the image. The result can be mildly to extremely entertaining. Depends on how much effort you put into it, really.
Colon 30 $$$ Haircut web sequencer
Ever wanted to know what emoji sound like? Um, no? Okay, but now you will! Each emoji sounds different, depending on what sample Colon felt like ripping out of the internet’s bowels. Representing a somewhat nostalgic era of online culture (and a honest appreciation for retro gaming), the crafty coder borrowed audio from games like Super Mario World, Super Mario 64, Mario Paint, Rhythm Doctor, A Dance of Fire and Ice, Friday Night Funkin’, Rhythm Heaven, UNDERTALE, Geometry Dash, The Binding of Isaac, Terraria, Baba is You, and other titles that most Gen. Z-ers probably have no idea about. But they can too create compositions by sequencing emoji! It’s all good fun, bordering on avant-garde, and totally illegal from a copyright standpoint. What’s not to like?!
this is the best/worst website i have ever created. and it’s now live at https://t.co/NpkolPvJmR
enjoy! (rts appreciated 🙏) pic.twitter.com/WbHSnuucpX
— Colon : (@TheRealGDColon) January 27, 2022
There are currently 132 different emoji, all with their attached sounds. Additionally, you can choose between twelve sequencer commands to shake up the patterns a bit and give the sequencer a sense of competence. The commands include change tempo, volume, pause time, loop points, stop everything, combine sounds, and others. To make sequencing easier and flex his coding chops, Colon also built in smart commands (remove, preview, clone, change pitch, drag-and-drop to move). Finally, you can listen to the finished sequence, save it, and load exported sequences. I wanted to sell mine as NFTs, but then I remembered I have a life.
Do you have a few free minutes or are you just bored? Doesn’t matter – try the site! It’s the kind of harmless joy that takes me to the pre-2010 internet which I fondly remember as my teenage respite.